About Sleep

Bittersweet Motherhood

Part V

About Sleep

This entry is about what I wished for when I blew out my 36 candles this past birthday: SLEEP.

I know we've all heard about parents and lack of sleep. But, seriously, until you are a parent to a newborn, you don't know how bad it really is.

I've read Baby Whisperer. Babywise. Happiest Baby on the Block. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. ANY book you can name about babies and sleep - it's on my shelf, and engrained in my sleep-deprived brain.

I also have every Lullaby/Sleep CD out there, from Swahili to Japanese - they are ALL on my ITunes Library. (ok, maybe not ALL, but I have at least 44).

They all got some mighty good points. And sometimes, following the tips actually work. For example, Adia was sleep-trained by Dr. Weissbluth's book, "Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child"

But honestly, the best sleep book out there is Go the F$#k to Sleep. Because let me tell you something, baby sleep isn't a friggin' science!!! It just happens when it happens. And it won't happen in the first 6 months. I guess sometimes you get lucky. We did with Adia. Adia was sleeping 8 pm - 8 am (without wake) at 12 weeks. She hit a 4-mo sleep regression and started waking again, but pretty soon, by 5 months, she was sleeping through the night...it was wonderful, and blissful.

Just when I thought I got it down, here comes Raya. In SOOO many ways, Raya is so much easier. (BTW, the HARDEST transition is going from 0 to 1 child. The NEXT hardest is 1 to 2 children. After 2 children, the rest is a piece of cake - yes, that's right, suck it, Duggars with your 20 kids, Scott and I have it just as rough as you). Anyway, Raya is a piece of cake. She NEVER cries. Why? Because as a second-time mom, I know her every need, BEFORE she even thinks it. So, she never has to cry.

She is easier than my first child in EVERY way, except for sleep.

I just don't get it! Last night, Raya woke every 2o minutes, wanting to suck on her human binky. EVERY 20 minutes! I finally slept with my boob in her mouth. (Major kink in neck).

She just won't sleep!! We have tried everything! Even the Swing! Sometimes, she will sleep in it. OTher times she won't. We have the rocker, the glider, the BabySitter - we literally have every sleep-related device known to man.

I've put Raya down LATER (11 pm), and EARLIER (7 pm), but inevitably, she will wake every 2 hours.

??!?!?! Why?!?!?

Because, parents, she is a baby. So for those of you who have wonderful sleepers that go through the night - YAY! for you! Enjoy it.

We had a wonderful little A+ Sleeper - ms. Adia.

And this time, it ain't so easy.

It's a good thing I am taking a year off work.

Without sleep, brain cells die. Lookie here at Wiki - it says, "sleep deprivation causes the brain to become incapable of putting an emotional event into the proper perspective and incapable of making a controlled, suitable response to the event."

And, "Sleep deprivation may have been the underlying cause of the overdose deaths of celebrities Heath Ledger, and Anna Nicole Smith.^[23]"

This is why I am not practicing law this year.

First, for some reason, my second baby does not let me sleep. So, my brain isn't functioning.

So, in court, when someone presents a brilliant argument (for which normally I have a brilliant response),my brain is "incapable of making a controlled, suitable response to the event."

I have terrible guilt for not practicing law this year. It's almost as bad as the guilt I felt when I didn't time off to stay inside the house every day with Adia. (Remember, I WAS home, I was just out in the guesthouse, as a Stay at Home Working Mom).

I feel like I am letting my clients down.

But, if I go into Court, and I am at a loss for words (which is very rare, but is happening these days, because the most I can muster to an argument after 11 weeks of consecutive non-sleep is "Oh yeah? Well, you are too!"), I just cannot be the voice for the people.

I also cannot remember cases and statutes as clearly as I did before when my brain cells were properly rested and regenerated with sleep.

I know that something happened recently about Prop 8, but when I read the decision, the words blur together and I am thinking about what other binkys I can try to get Raya to take (after buying and throwing away 6 different brands already).

That is why I am not practicing law.

And I am blogging about it because I feel really, really guilty.

I will say, though - in case prospective clients are reading this - Over the past 3 years, I have helped train a brilliant associate (i say HELP because she was already naturally brilliant, and very easy to teach)...her name is Veronica. Veronica is handling ALL my cases now, with arduous fervor, and brilliancy (I know I keep using the same adjective; my sleep-deprived brain can't think of anything else but AWESOME to describe her).

So...my firm isn't shut down. It's just that me, Kelly, isn't going to be practicing law.

I am still running a firm. I had to fire a client yesterday.

I actually made a call while holding Raya so her cries could be an excuse for me to get off the phone.

Instead, my talking in my "attorney voice" put her to sleep!!!

Go figure.

I don't get babies and sleep.