Sleep Training

Bittersweet Motherhood:

SLEEP TRAINING

As I write this, I am on Day 2 of Sleep Training little Raya, using the "extinction" technique. This is also known as "Cry It Out".

Let me just preface that being a mother means making a zillion choices. Do I breastfeed or formula? If I breastfeed, do I boob or pump? Do I stay at home or work? Do I get a nanny or daycare? Do I let cry or always soothe?

The blog is not meant to insult people or make judgments. It merely is my experience.

I chose "extinction" technique because it was my last resort. Raya has never been a good sleeper, except during the blissful newborn phase, where she "slept like a baby". But her sleeping rapidly deteriorated at about the 2.5-month mark. She always woke after 30 minutes during naps, and at night, every 2 hours. (at least) This actually climaxed to the 4-month mark, where for 3 nights straight, Raya woke every 45 minutes at night.

Let me again just repeat, I am currently a stay-at-home mom. So, I know Raya's schedule by heart. Since birth, I have never left Raya for more than 2 hours. The ONE time I left for 2 hours was because I got into a car accident, and had to wait for the tow truck.

So yes, I was very sleep-deprived. I had blisters all over my body (my doctor brother said it was an immune system breakdown). I was down to 91 pounds. I got into a car accident.

My husband was also affected. His back was all jacked from rocking Raya to get her to sleep.

And the worst, my 2 children were miserable because they couldn't sleep. Adia walked around with circles under her eyes, sick all the time. And little Raya was starting to be cranky ALL through the day, due to these 30 min naps. She couldn't really stay awake long enough. And because she wasn't getting enough sleep, so she would nap ALL day. And at night, she would arch her back when I nursed her, the whole time with her eyes closed - wanting to lay down and go to sleep.

Those last 2 nights before I started the Cry It Out, my heart screamed to help her. As any nursing mom would do, I just kept my boob in her mouth - always feeding, always feeding.

But she wasn't hungry. In fact, when she sucked, any time the milk would start coming out, she would arch her back and scream. She spit up numerous times, and pooped.

RAYA WAS MISERABLE BECAUSE SHE COULD NOT SLEEP.

She was not hungry, not wet. Not gassy. She wasn't even craving me. THAT night, her cries told me, "I WANT TO SLEEP AND I WANT YOU TO PUT ME TO SLEEP".

But the nursing, the rocking, the singing - that kept her awake and she was really upset she could not sleep.

I actually "accidentally" did Cry It Out that one night it started. She woke up at Midnight. I nursed her. Daddy then rocked her for about an hour, but she couldn't put herself back to sleep. Finally, I got involved and nursed her. I kept nursing her. She kept sucking to soothe, sucking to soothe.

She got so much milk, she spit up 3 times and pooped. Finally, at 2:30 am, I just couldn't do it anymore. I felt like I was DAMAGING her by overfeeding her...and in addition, the nursing was actually keeping her awake, when all she wanted was to SLEEP.

SHE WANTED TO SLEEP. SHE WANTED ME TO PUT HER TO SLEEP BUT INSTEAD EVERYTHING I AM DOING IS KEEPING HER AWAKE.

So, at 2:30 am, I put her down on one side of the bed.

And, I crawled to my side of the bed, under the sheets, and ...

I let her cry.

I sobbed under the covers.

I just kept praying and praying.

3 am. She stopped crying and went to sleep....until 7 am.

30 minutes! I couldn't believe it. Could it be because I let her cry? Could it because she was exhausted?

Who knew?

All I know was...the Sleep Training has started. I couldn't turn back or the 30 min of crying would have been All for Naught.

So, that's how we accidentally started.

And this is what happened, and is happening.

YESTERDAY, DAY 1 of sleep training.

Here was the schedule.

Raya woke from her nighttime sleep at 7:30 am. She was happy and well-rested. Her first 4 hours stretch in over a month!!!

She woke, we played, I fed her, she pooped...and then I fed her again to fill her up.

NAP 1: At 9:01 am, I put Raya in her crib, drowsy but awake.

She cried from 9:01 t0 9:21. (20 minutes cry) Then she fell asleep. She slept. (30 minute sleep - her normal sleep cycle). She woke at 9:45, screaming bloody murder (45 minute cry).

At 10:30 am, she fell asleep again and woke at 11:10 am. (3o minute sleep) When she woke, she was happy, not crying. Just cooing in her crib.

I fed her. I changed her. She pooped. I changed her again. We played piano. We sang. I fed her again to prep for Nap 2.

Nap 2: At 12:52 pm, I put Raya in her crib, drowsy but awake.

She cried from 12:55 - 1:05 (10 minute cry), Then she fell asleep. She slept until about 1:30pm (25 minute sleep), and woke, this was the hardest - she cried for 90 minutes (1.5 hour cry!), on and off. I finally got her at 2:55 pm.

She was not a happy camper because in my opinion, she wanted to sleep more, but couldn't learn how to put herself back and she is SO used to us going in to give her boob, and rock her...

I got her up. I fed her. I changed her. She played, but very tired - for 2 hours. I fed her again.

Nap 3: At 4:55 pm, I put Raya in her crib, drowsy but awake.

She cried from 4:55 - 4:59. (only 4 minute cry!) Then she fell asleep. Slept until 5:35. (35 minute sleep). She cried until 6 pm (25 minute cry), and I got her up.

By this time, Raya was exhausted. She slept a total of 120 minutes, and cried a total of 194 minutes during the day.

NIGHTTIME SLEEP

At 7:35 pm, I put Raya down for the night.

She CIO for 30 - 35 minutes. She also woke a couple minutes after to cry a bit and then she fell asleep....

FOR THE WHOLE NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Until 7:00 am. 11 hours of blissful sleep for Raya Chang Rickert.

DAY 2

NAP 1: I put Raya down at 8:10 am, drowsy but awake.

She cried from 8:12 - 8:19 (7 minute cry). She then self-soothed for 8 minutes (NO CRYING), before falling asleep at 8:27 am.

She slept until 8:54 am (27 minute sleep). She cried until 9:02 (8 minute cry). I went into adjust her pillow, pat her. She fell back asleep at 9:02 - 10:07 (65 minute sleep).

She woke up, kinda grumpy. Fed her, pooped, changed her. She was still sleepy. I think she wanted to continue sleeping.

NAP 2: I put Raya down at 11:45 am, drowsy but awake.

For only 2(!) minutes, she cried a muted cry. Then, at 11:47 - 11:53, she made rhythmic, cooing sounds to put herself to sleep. She then cried from 11:53 - 11:57 (4 minute cry), and slept until 12:27 (30 minute sleep). She has been crying on and off until 1:17 (45 minute cry).

The poor girl - I finally went in and patted her, turned on the Sleep Sheep at 1:17, and she is now sleeping.