Mommymoon at Terranea Resort, Rancho Palos Verdes

Terranea Resort

100 Terranea Way

Rancho Palos Verdes, CA 90275

When Baby Makes More than Three, To Terranea Immediately Get Thee!

by Kelly Chang Rickert (mama)

Honeymoons: For newlyweds.

Babymoons: For couples expecting children.

Mommymoons. For moms. ALONE.

mommymoon [mom-mee-moon]

–noun:

1. A vacation taken by a mother expecting her second or any subsequent child;

2. A brief period characterized by uninterrupted tranquility, bliss, and/or pampering;

3. A much-needed and well-deserved escape from the chaos and responsibilities of home or work (or both), for a pregnant woman who is already caring for one or more kids.

Why is this necessary?

Sanity.

Seriously, ever since I became a mother, I have been away a total of only 5 nights away from my daughter and husband. And this is all due to work - court appearances in SF, out-of-town board meetings for the ACFLS, etc. They were all "excuse-able". They were not fun. I had to WORK. (thus, no guilt).

Sure, I've heard of the myth of "girls' weekends", "girls getaways", but honestly, if I ever went away with girlfriends, or my sister-in-law, just for a day to myself, I would never get over the guilt. As a working mother (divorce attorney), I am already away during work hours for most of the workweek, such that when the weekend comes, I have absolutely NO desire to be anywhere but attached to my baby.

This, of course, means, that between handling clients all week and managing a law office, and then being non-stop mama all weekend, I basically have no downtime.

With baby #2 due in about 8 weeks (and a NASTY divorce trial set 4 months after baby #2 arrives), I thought it was time that I finally carved aside some time to myself so I can finally take the lingering bubble bath I've longed for, for over 4 years.

So, I took my bubble bath, and 2 books, and spent one glorious night, and 1.5 days alone before my handsome husband and adorable 3-year-old joined me for the weekend.

And, I didn't work.

I just relaxed.

California moms, Terranea Resort is the BEST place in the world for a mommymoon. Here are reasons why:

1. ESCAPE, BUT BE CLOSE ENOUGH TO HOME FOR EMERGENCIES. First and foremost, a mommymoon must embody escape. This is your chance to NOT take calls, NOT answer emails, NOT grocery shop, NOT fold laundry, NOT cook, NOT play mama, wife, boss, manager, lawyer, whatever! ESCAPE AND DO NOTHING. And if you are neurotic like me, and fear emergencies - it is close enough that the main players in your life can still reach you. Terranea is only 45 minutes drive away, so I was close enough to be reached.

2. BE WITH WHAT GOD CREATED, AND STILL PAMPER YOURSELF ROTTEN. Nature is really good for your soul. Ocean, trees, rocks, mountains, beach. That's why people go camping. However, being 8 months pregnant, "roughing it" is somewhat masochistic. Enter Terranea - a serene place of absolute beauty. Seriously. Just look at the photos from: 1) right outside my suite, 2) a short walk down, and 3) lobby.

BEAUTY surrounds this place, ladies. Yes, unbelievable. Even the Garden of Eden had a evil serpent. I can absolutely, without reservations, tell you that Terranea is unflawed. Ever since they opened their doors in 2009, we have made Terranea Resort an annual destination (we are spoiled rotten). This is the THIRD time, and I have yet to find a minor imperfection in the amazing architecture and nature of this place.

Oh, and their spa? To die for. I am not ashamed to admit - I am a spa junkie. That's right, I am do my best work - litigation planning - when getting a rubdown. I also have discovered long ago that I simply cannot sleep or digest my food to nourish my 96-pound pre-pregnancy body without getting a massage every month. Others exercise, I get massaged.

Yes, they are very expensive. But they happened to be running an Autumn Special. For $150 (plus 20% added gratuity for a total of $180), you get a 50-minute massage or facial AND a mini-treatment: Moroccan hair treatment; eyebrow wax; or hand and foot treatment. I went crazy and had TWO. Even if they weren't running a special though, it is still worth it to pay $185 ($222 total) for a 60 minute pre-natal massage.

Bottom line: I have frequented the best spas in the world, and with that experience, I STILL say Terranea is the best. The therapists are well-trained in pre-natal massage (Advice: NEVER go to an inexperienced parlor for a prenatal rub - it will hurt you, AND the baby.) And they have a RELAXATION ROOM on the second floor smack dab in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, complete with a fireplace.

3. TOP-NOTCH SERVICE. No kidding. From valet to housekeeping to restaurants and front desk - every single person there is ready to serve you. Example: I am clearly 32 weeks pregnant. I check in. I get spa'ed. I order room service. Knock, knock! Complimentary fruits and crackers for you! Example: I am clearly 32 weeks pregnant. At check-in, my favorite front desk person whom shall remain anonymous, because I don't want anyone else getting special treatment (but his initials are J.C.) gives me a complimentary upgrade to an ocean view suite so I can have more space while I am rapidly expanding.

<--------Kelly 32 weeks pregnant

Example: Housekeeping brings extra water (no charge), toothpaste, matches for my Diptyque candle within 5 minutes of calling. Example: Free shoe shine - just leave bag outside. ALL the amenities of a 5-star hotel, minus the snootiness. Everyone here is just happy from inside out and willing to serve you. Which is the WHOLE point of a mommymoon - because as a mom, you are used to serving everyone else.

4. DEFINITELY AFFORDABLE IF YOU ARE ATUNE TO DEALS; STILL CHEAPER THAN OTHER MOMMYMOON/BABYMOONS. I am the researching type. I spent several hours browing the net for mommymoon/babymoons. Basically, if you are looking to be pampered with a package that includes a retreat in a nice hotel, complete with spa treatments, and other special niceties, such as gift baskets, yoga classes, and ambiance, you are looking to pay at least $1500 for 3 nights, including flights, etc. I noticed that most mommymoons/babymoons are in Northern California. For example, there's the Barefoot and Pregnant Spa, located near San Jose and Napa. They advertise packages between $900 - $2800. This does not include the airfare for a flight up there. There is also Miraval in Tuscon, Arizona, which is an all-inclusive resort. So, for all meals paid, complete with all classes, housing, their rates range from $655 - $1090 a night. Terranea Resort ranges from $300 - $1250 a night, depending on room size, room view, etc. They frequently offer return guests deals. I had a Buy 2 nights, get 1 night deal - so the room was approximately $299 (plus $25 resort fee plus $30 valet per night). But I was upgraded to a suite, which is approximately $750 a night. The entire weekend, filled with fine dining, in-room spoiling, spa'ing, cost less than $2000. And I didn't have to pay for a flight. It is expensive, but worth it.

If you are interested in going, you may contact me for a deal code for a repeat customer. I would gladly call you my guest just to prove to you how amazing this place is.

5. PERFECT AMOUNT OF CHOICES SO YOU ARE NOT OVERWHELMED. There are a bazillion things to do at Miraval. I actually got stressed looking at their menu of activities. At Terranea, there isn't too much to do. There is a beautiful trail along the ocean where you can walk. There is a spa. which includes a salon, cafe, and shop. There are three restaurants: Mar'Sel; Catalina Kitchen and Nelsons. There is a Sea Beans cafe/coffeeshop. There is golf. There are tons of firepits where you can make S'Mores. There are 3 pools: main, spa, and adult. There's golf. And that's it, folks. This is a place where you can truly relax, instead of trying to experience all there is. You know what I did all weekend besides spa treatments? I ordered room service, and I read 2 excellent books: Heaven is for Real and The Help. This is incredible. The last 2 books I read were "Llama Llama misses Mama" and "Contempt Citations in Family Court". Mamas, you need to relax on a mommymoon, so you can recharge. It's not about being stimulated, it's about being situated.

Ahhhh, how I absolutely love Terranea. If I had a million dollars, I would find someone else who had a million dollars, and we could buy and share a 3-bedroom villa there. It is the perfect place for a busy mother trying to escape noise in her life. It is also a perfect place for a family get-together. Or a babymoon. It is, in one word, perfect. We will continue to go, every year.

But moms, if you are in your third trimester, and you can afford it, I highly recommend going to Terranea to recharge for a weekend. Your baby and you deserve it.

TERRANEA LOVE OVER THE YEARS

2009

2010

2011

Poor Adia's Second Molars

Adia has never complained about teething pain. Her face could be covered in rash (due to the buckets of drool running down her chin); low-grade fever, diarrhea - she would still be running around singing "Jesus Loves Me" and outeating her mama.

Then she got her second molars at 21 months.

As I write this, the Lakers just won the championship, and Scott and I are resting after a long day of a teething, very feverish baby with little appetite. In fact, all she ate today of substance was a McDonalds ice cream cone. No joke - Adia rejected pasta, AND French fries today!

She also has a bit of a cold. Tylenol and Orajel are our best friends right now.

I have attached the above teething chart for you purpose-driven mamas out there. Second molars are the worst. Once this is over, it should be easy until their teenage years.

Do Re Mi

Adia knows her Do, Re, Mi's. She is 17 months old.

If you are a parent who is interested in music education, I would specifically recommend researching the "solfege" system and enrolling immediately in a music school which incorporates this type of education.

I learned the piano when I was 3 years old. I recall the sticker books that my piano teacher used to bribe us. Every correctly played note or song would earn me a sticker. At that time, I was more interested in filling up my sticker book, but in my teen years, as I went to church, I began recognizing that I had a unique skill - sight-reading, which came as a direct result of my early years in solfege education.

What is solfege?

Solfege is an important part of learning to read music and is a technique used to teach sight-singing or sight reading.

Each note in solfege is sung to a different syllable do, re, me, fa, so, la, ti, and each note has a corresponding hand sign (as seen in photos).

To teach your child solfege do the following: (I prefer setting Do to Middle C on the piano - note you can set "do" on other notes, but for ease, Do on Middle C is preferred).

1. Sing DO to the first pitch of any major scale (i.e. if you choose the major C scale, C would be your first note).

2. Now, sing and sign do with your hand (as seen in photo below).

3. Have your child sing and sign do. If needed, help mold your child's hand into the do shape until he or she can sign do his or herself.

4. Continue to teach your child every solfege sign and syllable.

5. Note: Solfege is a great way to introduce music to your baby!

Solfege Pronunciation:

Do = Doh (For the C scale you will sing C pitch)

Re = Ray (For the C scale you will sing D pitch)

Mi = Mee (For the C scale you will sing E pitch)

Fa = Fah (For the C scale your will sing F pitch)

So = Soh (For the C scale you will sing G pitch)

La = Lah (For the C scale you will sing A pitch)

Ti = Tee (For the C scale you will sing B pitch)

Do!

It was done in Sound of Music.

Adia already knows approximately 20 songs, in entirety.

On a related note, Adia has been exposed to Chinese and English simultaneously since birth. I believe that the intonations of the two different languages is also directly linked to her music ability. Music is imitation by ear. To be tone-deaf means you cannot hear the note and imitate it...this results in off-tune singing. On American Idol, this is referred to as "pitchy - ness". If you sing too "high" for the note, you are "sharp." If it's too low, you are "flat."

I am fascinated by music education and it is my hope that one day, I will have the resources to bring it back to our public and private schools.

DO RE MI FA SO LA TI DO!!!!

New Year's Resolution: Focus on Husband

"A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands." Proverbs 14:1











If you are anything like me, your marriage suffered (A LOT) the entire first year of your baby's life.
There are too many reasons for this, but this post focuses on the remedy. For me, it's truly appreciating my husband and (here is the tough part)....showing it.
The Bible is my GPS. As a divorce lawyer and new mother, I have my own ideas of what is best for my family.
Following through on my ideas is why I failed this year.
I've been to many seminars, and I am a good student. I understand that the priorities should be: 1) my relationship with God; 2) my marriage to Scott and 3) little Adia; 4) household duties; and 5) work.
However, I can't find a Bible verse that says I need to put marriage before children!
In all my research, I concluded that the reason you cannot put children before marriage is because in order to properly raise children (fulfill all needs; instill values/discpline; implant and cultivate skills for independence), you NEED the marriage.
Simply put, a single parent (or two parents without common Christian-oriented principles)cannot do what a God-ordained married couple can do with their children.
Of course, some circumstances in life are beyond our control. But if you have a God-loving spouse, you will find a way to cherish and show him you cherish him.
Here are my ways to showing my respect to Scott:
1. REACH A DECISION TOGETHER. I have a tendency to immediately do what I think is best for Adia, i.e. hiring a nanny/au pair; Chinese lessons; piano lessons; NO formula; whether we go to a party when Adia is sick or not. Because I am decisive and aggressive (a carryover from my professional life), and Scott is naturally more willing to weigh both sides and negotiate (a carryover from his professional life), I made most final decisions.
I used to not trust Scott to make decisions. I thought he would always make the wrong decisions. This resulted in bitterness, feeling under- and unappreciated, and robbed Scott of his role as the leader of our household.
"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord," Ephesians 5:22.
No, I am not Scott's slave. These days, I aim to give ideas, and have him have the final say.
2. IDENTIFY HIS TOP FIVE NEEDS AND AIM TO FULFILL THREE OF THEM. Men are different than women. I firmly believe that the first year after birth - there is inevitable failure on the wife to provide needs for the husband. It happened to me. I consulted Proverbs 31. Did she fulfill her husband's physical needs? Not sure. The Bible doesn't specifically identify what are reasonable needs of men. In addition, Scott's needs are individual. Finally, if you just gave birth, you need to forgive yourself. It is a physically demanding task.
These days, I try to decipher what he needs from past arguments and provide. I am successful about 37% of the time, but this is about 37% of the time better than last year.
3. WRITE BLOGS TO BETTER MYSELF. Learning to be a better mother and wife is a process.